Living single has its upsides and downsides. The upside is when goofy things happen in the privacy of my own home, I don't have to share them and reveal what a geek I am. The downside is when goofy things happen, I don't have anyone to immediately share them and show what a geek I am.
Hemming and hawing over this incident, I've decided to share...
Yesterday was my marmalade maelstrom - see the proceeding post. In between grapefruit and orange, I somehow chipped one of my nails (not in the fruit) and went hunting for my nail clippers. The first place I looked was my travel toiletry bag.
I stuck my hand in, reached around and felt a funny sensation on the ring finger of my right hand. It wasn't quite pain but almost a tickle.
I looked in the bag and saw a Pink Bic Lady Disposable Razor.
"Oh, no," I thought, then looked at my finger.
I sliced a thin layer of skin, the area about the size of a dime. The skin held on for dear life. Blood started to seep out yet, I couldn't feel any pain until I rinsed it under the sink.
"OUCH!" I was in pain. [Note: Well, "ouch" isn't the exact word, just trying to keep things clean] Blood kept oozing out and splattered into the sink (I didn't realize how much blood's in a fingertip). Worst of all, I had marmalade to make and getting injured was not in the plan!
I took my bandaged finger into the kitchen and proceeded to wash the dishes for the next round of marmalade. Not good. I was in pain.
Acidic citrus and dish soap made the pain unbearable. I needed a way to get the dishes clean and move to the next project!
I know what you're thinking. Use rubber gloves. That would be nice if I had rubber gloves. But that wasn't my first thought...
My first thought was a flashback to when I worked in Yellowstone. I thought, "latex." We used finger rubbers to roll on our digits to protect our wounds from the food (and vice versa) we worked with.
Perhaps you can see where this is going. I first tried to remember if I had any balloons around and decided if I did, would have no idea where to find them.
My last resort was, well, a condom. I mean, it's obvious I won't be needing it for its intended purpose anytime soon and I'm sure it was well beyond its expiration date. I grabbed a Trojan and popped it on my finger (well, in order for it to stay on, I put three fingers in there) and washed away. I'm sure this isn't what their new tag line of "Use a condom every time," was intended for.
"This is working out pretty good," I thought as the wound stayed dry and there wasn't any pain. I thought I was clever.
But things soon changed.
Pain shot through my arm as I scrubbed the marmalade pot. It was the kind of pain that pushes you on the brink of passing out.
I looked at my finger rubber to see...
...the Trojan had broke!
I had the same reaction as anyone else who has had one break, "Oh, $#!7."
Bucking up the pain and wondering if I was exposing my finger to any kind of infection due to the breakage, I finished the dishes. Next was cutting the citrus - oranges and lemons - without any type of protection. Can you feel my pain?
So, I have to ask. Have you used a Trojan for anything other than its intended purpose?