Monday, January 26, 2009

Life or Morphine?

Tonight was another journey up to Sarasota to see Grandma. The good side of this (I'm usually the optimist so I'm looking for a good side) is all of Grandma's children were at her side and that's what she wanted. I'm also getting to meet relatives I've only heard about (met them over the weekend). She actually seemed better. Her breathing was easier and she looked more peaceful. Is she actually doing better or is it the morphine being pumped into her?

She was still primarily unconscious, as she was yesterday, but seemed to wake a little bit and be coherent as to what was around her. She didn't open her eyes but smiled a little bit and nodded her head when asked questions.

We wondered what if she wakes up tomorrow and thinks we've been conspiring against her? What if she tells the nurse to get her outta there because her family's trying to kill her? If this happens, she'll definitely be upset that we're already talking to a realtor to appraise and sell the house and we've spoken to the cremation society, which she prepaid 25 years ago (but she did check with them about 2 weeks ago to make sure all was in order, prior to her stroke). And when she finds out I've been tasked at writing her obituary, she's really going to be upset! I can just hear her now telling her friends about the family's conspiracy against her and how "they" (the family) even got me to get in on this.

I know, my family and I have a twisted sense of humor and in all honesty, I don't think that's going to happen.

How did she get where she is? Long story short, last spring she was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder which causes the muscle cells to fight against each other and deteriorate. (I'll have to get the exact name and post tomorrow.) She was misdiagnosed for months. Poor Grandma couldn't walk and her doctor told her she had a bladder infection. As the disorder progressed, she couldn't swallow because her throat muscles didn't work and her voice changed, it sounded strained. She became weak and couldn't lift her arms. All the while, she remained sharp, witty, and feisty.

She ended up in assisted living where the good people helped her get better. She participated in therapy daily so she could get home. I know she hated it but she was determined to get home so she did what she had to do.

Grandma went home in the fall and was doing somewhat well on her own. Fast forward to last week when she had a stroke which led to today. I hope the rest of her journey remains peaceful.

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