Thursday, June 09, 2005

If I Were Houdini

There are some days when I wish I could dissolve away and disappear. This morning started off that way. I had arranged to take the day off a week ago, before knowing I would be leaving. I didn’t sleep last night and felt emotionally empty this morning. So much so that I didn’t even have the desire to be a slug all day, so I let guilt tug at me a bit and pulled myself up to go to work.

I’m second guessing my decision to move, I suppose that’s normal. I’m realizing what an impact I’ve had on people within the community and my circle of friends and family. Life around me seems brighter, I’m noticing subtle vibrancies around me – the pink rain lilies, the albino rabbit that lives around the corner, better appreciation for my friendships.

My emptiness this morning was quickly filled with humor. I thought I was done dealing with drunk Japanese men when I left Japan last November. Not so. I still occasionally receive emails from Japanese men professing their love to me – and I can only imagine they were written in drunken moments when their wives weren’t present (either that, or the wives don’t read English or they just don’t care).

This morning, I had to call a Japanese man about bringing a group to the destination. I had dealt with him last year and had been waiting for his return call. Albeit a 13 hour time difference, I called him on his cell phone at midnight his time (he called at 2 a.m. his time yesterday) and had to muddle through my broken Japanese in order to speak to him. Once he remembered who I was, the conversation slid into English (thank god) and he informed he was “getting high” on rice wine and it is “very difficult to concentrate” and would have to call me later. This was the smile I needed to begin the day.

There's really no point to writing about this, just that the day, like life, took an unexpected turn.

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